A couple weeks ago, my husband stopped me in the hallway at the school where we teach to tell me that he wasn’t receiving an employment contract for the upcoming academic year. By extension that meant I wouldn’t receive a contract either; we came to the school as a package deal and will leave as one, too. As a part-time Humanities faculty member, I was already keenly aware of my expendability. My husband’s news, however, came as a surprise. I felt like throwing up, but I did what an adult does: I pasted a smile on my face, returned to my class, and finished out the day’s work. Then I drank the weekend away.
Unemployment is a stress in itself, but, at a boarding school, it carries an additional wallop: eviction. We live in a faculty house and must vacate it, and our positions, by June 15. My family has four months to figure out many things: where we will work, where our children will attend school, where we are going to live, and what steps will cause the least damage to us as individuals and to our family unit.
My husband and I waited a week before telling the kids. Though it would have been easier to bear the heartache and spare them, we didn’t want to risk them hearing the news from one of the other faculty members or their children. (In this small community, news travels fast.) My son was four when we started working at the school, and my daughter stood as tall as my knees. This is the only home the kids have known. They cried, we cried, and we all went to bed with nine years of memories to either mourn or savor. When we woke up the following morning, we watched the sun rise into a crisp blue sky.
I will not miss this job. It has demanded my creativity and sapped my patience. It has killed my love for young adult literature. I may miss the unique relationships I’ve built with young learners, but I won’t miss the grading, the superfluous, unproductive faculty “workshops,” or the hours of planning. This job has always been a job, not a calling, and I accept its end for the possibilities and potential it unleashes.
I feel buoyant, despite the chaos. This experience is an open door. I intend to walk through it with my head held high.
© 2017 Julia Moris-Hartley
5 responses to “An Open Door”
I know you will move on to bigger and better! Wishing you all strength on this new journey, Jules!
On Mon, Mar 6, 2017 at 10:15 AM, eaterprovocateur wrote:
> eaterprovocateur posted: “A couple weeks ago, my husband stopped me in the > hallway at the school where we teach to tell me that he wasn’t receiving an > employment contract for the upcoming academic year. By extension that meant > I wouldn’t receive a contract either; we came to the s” >
Grateful to hear you have made the choice to go through the door.. Quote from a long time ago. ” You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.” Love you, MomZ
love this, and you.
Love you too, and I miss you! Those were the halcyon days…